I miss the way you make me smile.

On changes for someone else

my longest relationship was 3 months short of a year. I don’t hate him, but I hate who I was when I was with him. My current relationship is different. I am who I am with him.

You should never feel the need to compromise what you hold valuable in order to make someone else happy. Don’t get me wrong. chaning and growing up and trying new things to discover yourself and find a path that makes you happy in life is goodChange is good.

But changing for someone else only brings misery, and with misery comes grief and resentment, And finally, the paralyzing feeling that you’ve lost yourself, and that you can never return to how you once were. 

It’s a terrible thing to look in the mirror and truly not recognize the person staring back at you. And I don’t ever want to feel that way again. If you only love me for who you think I might become, or who you want me to be, then you are wasting my time, as well as your own. If you love me only in the good times, then don’t bother with me. I am like a maze where all of the walls are continually changing, and I need to be able to be who I am, good or bad, convenient or inconvenient, day or night. 

most importantly, it’s okay to be who you are. Remember that.

"I swear, sometimes I watch you in conversation with someone else, or even with me, and I can see the wheels turning so rapidly in your head, and your thoughts whirling around like paper in a windstorm, and I want to catch them, and read them all, just to understand you. Sometimes I feel like I want to speak to you when this happens, but I’m afraid of interrupting genius."

  • me: you know what i hate?
  • me: well, everything,
  • me: but you know what i hate, like, specifically?

Drawings I did on my hand/ arm when i was supposed to be listening in class

It Hurts To Wonder… (Inner thoughts)

It Hurts To Wonder… (Inner thoughts)