"While I can’t have you, I long for you. I am the kind of person who would miss a train or a plane to meet you for coffee. I’d take a taxi across town to see you for ten minutes. I’d wait outside all night if I thought you would open the door in the morning. If you call me and say ‘Will you…’ my answer is ‘Yes’, before your sentence is out. I spin worlds where we could be together. I dream you. For me, imagination and desire are very close."
Yeah I wasn’t gonna say anything about it, but yeah. That thing we did today. Pretty intense feels. Doesn’t change the fact that I hate 95% of you, but the 5% I do care about— I care about you big.
I thought I would only get 3 or 4, but I got so much more than that. And it’s not really about the number, Some of the things people said to me were so kind, and heartfelt. and I could see emotion in their eyes. and some people i couldn’t even look in their eyes because I knew I would get choked up or some stupid crap like that.
for some people my hands were shaking as I tied them around their wrists, and I could barely get words out because there was so much I could say but nothing would come out right… anyway. I don’t know. I guess being with people for 4 years you really get to know them, and grow attached.
Most people, I could deal with not seeing every day, but a few people, it’s gonna be rough I guess.
I love when I have my window open in my room, and I can feel a cool breeze on my feet, and remember that I am a human being with a pulse and the amazing ability to feel, and it’s just a wonderful thing.