I want to take every feeling I have
every strand of emotion
and condense it into a small ball of energy
and throw it into an abyss or a black hole
so that I will never have to deal with it
just a curious thought:
If you are currently extremely happy in a relationship, but you are pretty sure things may NOT work out well in the future, do you stay in the relationship knowing it’s sort of doomed?
I love you.
see my problem?
Yeah I wasn’t gonna say anything about it, but yeah. That thing we did today. Pretty intense feels. Doesn’t change the fact that I hate 95% of you, but the 5% I do care about— I care about you big.
I thought I would only get 3 or 4, but I got so much more than that. And it’s not really about the number, Some of the things people said to me were so kind, and heartfelt. and I could see emotion in their eyes. and some people i couldn’t even look in their eyes because I knew I would get choked up or some stupid crap like that.
for some people my hands were shaking as I tied them around their wrists, and I could barely get words out because there was so much I could say but nothing would come out right… anyway. I don’t know. I guess being with people for 4 years you really get to know them, and grow attached.
Most people, I could deal with not seeing every day, but a few people, it’s gonna be rough I guess.
I love when I have my window open in my room, and I can feel a cool breeze on my feet, and remember that I am a human being with a pulse and the amazing ability to feel, and it’s just a wonderful thing.
I HATE WHEN I MISS YOU, BECAUSE WHEN I MISS YOU I MISS YOU BADLY.
I miss the way you make me smile.
every time I feel sad about what happened to me, and I feel like I want to die, I turn and look at my sister who’s sleeping, or laughing about something, and I thank God that it happened to me and not to her. Not her.
And I promise you this
You’re gonna miss me
As long as you live
You’re gonna miss me
I feel again. I never thought someone like me could be loved, and yet I am- loved. And that feels pretty freaking good.
