Once me and one of my ex boyfriend and I were making out and things were getting hot and heavy. But all of a sudden I felt this wave of sadness just crash over my body, and I felt like I was going to cry. I kept kissing him, but in between breaths I choked back tears. I realized this isnt what I wanted, and he wasnt want I wanted. And I think thats the moment I knew that things were over with us. at least for me.
He sensed I was distracted and stopped, asking me what was wrong. I tipped my neck back and whispered: “I want you to hurt me.”
I don’t know why I even said something like that, i didn’t want him to hurt me physically, or maybe I did, i wanted him to get angry with me, I wanted him to push me away and let me go so that I could leave. “Hurt me.” I said again looking into his eyes, hoping he would understand what I meant. hoping he would get it. but he never understood me, and he took it that I wanted him to be more rough while kissing me.
"Oh, she likes it rough!" he said grinning, and I forced a smile, even though my heart had been broken. he dove right back into the kissing, and with every kiss he drove the nail deeper and deeper into my heart.
and it killed me because he was supposed to be someone who understood and he could never be that for me.