Do You Want Some Water?

Time of night I begin to feel unbearably lonely. It starts in my stomach and before I know it, its scratching and clawing at my soul.

Am I really dooming myself? This is irritating.

I’m not exactly sure where this “home” Is that I keep wanting to go back to, but I know this isn’t it.

when the world ended

most people were screaming, running and fighting

some people were praying and crying

few were stunned in shock and simply stared in horror

but only one stood in the midst of the chaos

and laughed

If you are currently extremely happy in a relationship, but you are pretty sure things may NOT work out well in the future, do you stay in the relationship knowing it’s sort of doomed?

At some point, you’ve hurt someone. Weather it be intentional or unintentional, you have caused someone harm. So to say that it is such a great injustice to be hurt by another person, is sort of unsound. Although everyone’s feelings are valid and should be considered, it doesn’t make sense to think you are somehow above another person’s feelings.

I love you.

see my problem?

Maybe it hurts so much because it matters. No matter how many times I tell myself that I don’t care, I can feel it on the back of my neck, breathing down my spine:

“You’re lying to yourself.”

this is gonna really fucking hurt when you wake up and realize what you don’t need is me. 

If you really loved me you’d compromise what you hold to be of value, because I matter more.

if you really loved me you’d do what I want you to do.

if you really loved me you’d stop making such a big deal about things.

if you really loved me you’d give me what I want.

if you really loved me you’d stop being such a bitch.

if you really loved me you’d apologize for making me angry.

if you really loved me you’d put me first, even above yourself.

if you really loved me you’d let it go, and move on.

if you really loved me you’d let me do what I want with you.

But the thing is that I never really loved you, so I owed you nothing. And I wish I had realized that.